Transformers 3

The fact that I’m just rolling out review after review should speak volumes about the listlessness that has seized control over life in general, but hey, I think that when I finally get down to seeing some movies, I should probably say a couple of things about it too.

Now, once again, just to provide context, like my last review on Cars 2, this one too is done with no background information on the franchise as a whole. What I mean is that I have not sampled the previous iterations of Michael Bay’s series. Many may consider this blasphemy, but after watching the third edition, I can honestly say I didn’t miss much.

Tranformers 3 or, as it is formally known, Transformers: Dark of the Moon (presumably some legal boffins snuck in and told the team not to use Dark Side of the Moon because that might lead to all sorts of legal unpleasantness), is the third movie of the Transformers series. Essentially, the planet Cybertron was inhabited by 2 races of autonomous, sentient machines (although they clearly don’t like being called by the name), namely the Autobots and the Decepticons. The series is designed so that the plot doesn’t take up too much of your time to digest, hence the rather descriptive name – Decepticons. Anyone with an elementary school vocabulary should be able to figure our who’re the good guys and who’re the bad guys in the series. Autobots align themselves with humans and are busy preventing the Decepticons from taking over Earth. In short, the plot so far has been plain vanilla. Then why, on Earth, one might think did I go to watch the third iteration, knowing very well that the plot was so shallow. Well, I heard good things about Michael Bay’s work in the SFX department and was keen to sample his latest in 3D.

The fact of the matter is that the plot of the movie can be explained in one line : A Cybertronian spaceship, called the Ark (real creative), on the far side of the moon is said to contain some extremely advanced technology, and the Autobots and Decepticons race to gain control of it. The movie deals with that and its fallout.

First, a few words about the acting – which is frankly, not remarkable in any way whatsoever. Dialogue is often wooden, but I don’t really blame the actors for any of this. Shia LaBeouf and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley are not to blame that their lines are either inconsequential or just downright cheesy. But seriously, each and every one of the humans in this movie have either been underplayed or overplayed. There really isn’t a middle ground. The bad guys won’t have subtlety. The incredulous intelligence chief is really way too bad ass and accommodating at one and the same time. In short, either the casting, or the scriptwriters are to blame.

Oh, and a side note, the frankly very in-your-face product placement in the movie, especially by Lenovo and Cisco (with a guest appearance by the Nokia X7) is rather annoying after a point. But then, I guess it’s an additional source of funding for the movie. Meh. Can be ignored, but still nags you whenever you see it. But undeniably visible.

As for plot, well, it is insufficient to captivate you for this 2.5+ hour movie. I am serious. This movie drags on for a very very long while. Funny thing is, it drags before the action begins, and then even the clashing metal gets yawn-inducing in a while. Not the visual spectacle mind you, but the predictability and the repetitiveness. A plot which revolves around 2 competing robot races can only contain so much depth. In fact, there are so many mind boggling concepts, such as salivating machines and the total and utter nullification of the laws of gravitation in a manner that is probably making Newton turn in his grave. Also, humor is rather limited and apart from a few slapstick situations and comedy by 2 of the little autobots, there really isn’t anything to look forward to. Comedy does, however, abound in the most unexpected of places when, say, a newspaper slams into the face of one of the antagonists allowing Witwicky to grab his leg. My friends, and people on several seats around me will testify to the fact that I laughed so much, I had a violent coughing fit. The general incredulity of some of the scenes and some of the dialogues are enough to make you double up in the aisles with laughter.

Background score isn’t much to speak about, and yes, Linkin Park’s song “Iridescent” from their album, A Thousand Suns (which I reviewed a while ago) does feature in the film, and it does fit into the scene it accompanies rather well. That said, the rest of the score is usually playing second fiddle to the umpteen mechanical knocks, servo drones, engine roars and other sundry audio effects. Even though the balance may be tilted towards the audio FX, the quality is undeniably there.

The visual effects in the movie, are frankly the strongest pillar of success behind this movie’s imminent box office success. The detailing and realism added is on par, if not better, than other sci-fi thrillers such as Terminator Salvation. Really, whatever the movie lacks in terms of plot and character development, it tries to make up for in the visual effects department. And I for one, am pretty sold on it. And need I mention the other star cast, including the muscle-flexing Chevrolet Camaro SS a.k.a. Bumblebee and the oh-so-luscious Ferrari 458 a.k.a Dino. The way these cars transform into the bots really has a dual effect on the viewer: you can’t help but stare at the essence of the movie i.e. the transformations, at the same time, the same object you looked at so plainly i.e. the car, becomes a full-fledged (albeit limited in terms of depth and dialogue) character. The relative flat monologues of the bots is made bearable thanks to a bunch of audio engineers who make the bots sound as menacing as they look.

This movie is purely an orgy for the eyes. Not only is it imperative to disconnect your brain before watching this movie, it is necessary to twist your imagination to allow some impossible events to appear natural. That said, pop on a couple of 3D glasses and enjoy the visceral thrill as a no-holds-barred piece of technical craftsmanship. If you watch the movie bearing in mind that this whole franchise is based on nothing but a bunch of toys, the build-up on the concept has been frankly astonishing.

Oh, and re: the events preceding the final showdown, I must quote my friend Tushar Krishnan:

Trust the chick to start up a fight.

Believe me, once you see the movie, the meaning of the above line will become abundantly clear. And as always, I’ll sign off with the theatrical trailer for the movie (which should also make the level of VFX quality quite evident):

P.S. I have been told that Megan Fox is missed sorely by fans of the franchise. I think I can understand why.