The last post wasn’t really anything about Day 9. It merely sets the stage for Day 10, which in turn, explains certain events which are to take place on Day 11. Before you ask, yes, a fair deal of planning goes into how to ration out the information into different posts, which are to be released on different days. This post is about what happened today, so come back tomorrow for the rest of the story of Lord Ayyappan.
Between the last post being written and now, I have visited 4 temples. 4 distinct temples, 3 of which were within walking distance of each other and a fourth which wasn’t. One of the interesting things I saw in the first temple was a mechanized drum, cymbal and bell ringing contraption, that essentially eliminated the need for priests to take out the instruments themselves. The rest of the three were very much vanilla.
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They don't allow photography inside temples...
Of course, for the benefit of the uninitiated, it is imperative for me to paint a picture of what vanilla is, with respect to a traditional Hindu Malayali temple. The principle deity of worship in almost all temples would be Lord Ayyappan, someone who’s history I was getting around to describe in the last post. The custom is to approach the entrance of the temple barefooted. Cleaning of the feet is supposed to earn you brownie points too. Then, unless you have any pujas to schedule and pay for, you may proceed directly to stand in line in front of the sanctum sanctorum (i.e. the holiest, most sacred place in a temple), which is dedicated to the principal deity to whom the temple is dedicated. This is followed by praying for a variable amount of time, depending on a number of factors, including, but not limited to lateness, disturbance of mental equilibrium, sense of anguish, level of religious fervor and desire to commune with god. Then, a circuit may be made of the sanctum sanctorum, and somewhere along the journey you may find a priest waiting with a small brass jug and plate. He may do any one or more of the following:
- Give you some holy water/milk from the jug, which is to be accepted in the right hand, then drunk and whatever remains to be applied on the hair in a sweeping motion from the forehead to the nape of the neck.
- Give you some chandanam, which is essentially a paste of sandalwood. The chandanam is to be accepted in the right hand, and applied on the front of the neck and the forehead.
- Some flower petals, which may optionally be stuck behind the ears.
If you arrive in time for a puja, you may also partake in receiving blessings from the holy flame, which is taken from person to person in the queue. Opening and closing of the doors of the inner chamber which houses the main idol is often accompanied by beating of drums, playing on conches and ringing of temple bells. This process is repeated, usually with less pomp and show for the other minor deities in the temple premises. Then you exit the temple, taking care not to step on the raised platform which separates the outside from the inside of the temple, and assuming your footwear hasn’t been stolen, go about the rest of your day.
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Well, those were the facts. Now comes my say on the matter. I did not volunteer to go to these temples. I was accompanying Mom and Dad. As I mentioned in the last post, I’m a self-proclaimed atheist – which, in my interpretation, means that I do not believe in a higher power of any kind. Of course, that’s just my opinion and I never seek to impose it on anyone else, simply because it’s wrong to do anything with your opinion beyond expressing it.
However, I do realize that my parents are both rather religious. And, yes, I do realize that I could simply refuse to go with them. It’s not like they would physically force me to get into the car. But however, even though I don’t volunteer to go to the temple for my benefit, I comply with their requests because I know that they derive great peace of mind from praying for me. They are both aware that I am not religious. It’s unfortunate that they do not fully acknowledge the fact that now, at the age of 18, nothing they tell me or make me do is capable of making me change my mind about the great unknowable of nature.
So, it is purely out of a desire for their mental well-being that I go to temples. It’s not as if I detest entering them, but the protocol one must follow inside one never made sense to me. Questions I asked when I was a kid about the same were often just shushed away, as if my questioning and reasoning on tradition was blasphemy. So for several years, I just tagged along. There is no other way to put it. I did not derive any great spiritual inner peace, nor any sense of oneness with a celestial spirit. None of that. A temple remained a place where coconuts were smashed on stone and the halves served on a thali with some leaves and chandana, and sometimes a small banana.
Of course, all of this is a bit of a disappointment for my parents, who have done an excellent job of raising me and my brother, except for this niggling fact. In fact, I know that even my brother shares most of my beliefs (or lack of which) on the matter of god. Just goes to show that this isn’t something wrong with me, just a byproduct of our upbringing. Oh well, I’m not complaining – a man of science and observation will find it hard to unify the theories of physics and spirituality. It’s not as if I dismiss the possibility of the existence of a higher power, it’s just that I refuse to accept it till I have seen some tangible proof of the same.
This is one of the basic tenets of my life:
Presume nothing without reason. Accept nothing without proof.
As far as I know, this isn’t a quote from someplace else, it’s just something I believe in.
And so, no, it’s not likely that I would ever visit a temple voluntarily. But circumstances often put me in a position where I don’t have an option or a say in the matter. All I can say is that I’m glad that I’ll be going to CMU in a while, where these compulsions with disappear. Again, just to emphasize, this isn’t an attempt to inject some sort of logical block on believers. It’s just me getting something off my chest.
If you ask me, religion plays a very important role in society. It gives people a hope where there might seem none. It gives them a reason to unite and celebrate. It helps form a part of their identities. In most minds, a world without a Jesus, a Prophet, a Buddha, a Vishnu or any other such personality would be unimaginable. Of course, there are people like me who refuse not to believe, but for countless others, religion is a guiding force in life – helping them develop ethics, a code of conduct and a lifestyle. It is indeed a powerful mental construct.
But it’s not as if it’s always benefited mankind – there have been enough examples in history, such as The Crusades, and more recently, the blasts in Mumbai which demonstrate just how divisive religion can be, especially when one religion feels wronged, or in some way, superior to another. Coexistence isn’t always on the cards, which is probably why innocents lose lives and limbs. Again, it just describes how powerful the construct can be, consuming people in anger if sacred texts are misinterpreted and manipulated.
But I digress, this post isn’t about religion. It’s about my inability to digest one. I’m not religious, but at the same time, I don’t feel any less disciplined than a believer. In fact, the reason why my atheism has benefited me is that I am left of the opinion that nothing is ever out of my hands, at least with respect to my life. It has taught me that there is no divine intervention, that in order to attain one’s goals, work is the only path to success. Praying may provide additional peace of mind to others around me, but I will never accept the fact that prayer has got me into the comfortable position in life I am in. Yes, I will concede that to things such as chance, my parents, their parents and many many more factors. This, in turn, has never allowed me to slacken in my efforts. Perhaps the only tenet of religion I’ve ever come close to embracing is this one : “God helps those who helps themselves“. That is one line which has always made sense.
But then again, I cannot believe in and commune with a god I don’t believe exists…..